Some people think when forgiving someone; they have to invite that person back into their life with the same access the betrayer had before the act of betrayal. However, this is not completely true. You can forgive someone by committing to the process of forgiveness and giving the hurt and pain associated with someone to the Lord; trusting that His healing presence will strengthen you in understanding His truth that sets you free from the anger and bitterness that can result when you are the one who has been betrayed. The Lord sets you free from the presence of anger by filling you with His healing presence of love. He sets you free from bitterness by freeing you from the offense that lingers when unforgiveness is present. He frees you from deceit by revealing the deceitful intent and thoughts of the betrayer; to help you protect your heart from their issues, as well as, your issue of having a lack of ability to discern their intent, thoughts and motive towards you.
The best apology is changed behavior because changed behavior is the evidence of true repentance. In order for changed behavior to become habitual it has to be established in the heart transformation of a person that makes it true repentance. This changed behavior is the fulfillment of the change in belief of the betrayer that will empower their changed behavior to remain; revealing that their apology is indeed true because their heart has become new.
Although we are called to forgive, it is not healthy for us to let the betrayer back in our lives to give them access to our heart when they have not went through the process of true repentance that is a heart transformation towards God and a changed behavior towards you. Although they transgressed towards you, they first sinned against God. To sin against God is to sin against the image and likeness of His perfect love that we are all called to abide in. However, we do not have the power to love like God without a committed lifestyle of cultivating a relationship with God. No one has the power to transgress against you without first sinning against God and dishonoring themselves.
The transgressor who is the betrayer, betrayed God before they betrayed you. The transgressor betrayed the commandment to love God and themselves before they betrayed the commandment to love you. Sometimes the act of betrayal can be done intentionally but often times it is done by the betrayer not understanding the hurt and pain they will cause because they are blinded by the deceit lust and pride within their own heart. This prevents the betrayer from properly caring for your heart. So until they are ready to address the issues of their heart, it is important to protect your heart from their issues as you trust the Lord to heal the wound they ensued towards you as you move forward in forgiveness.
Trusting the Lord starts with giving time to God to allow His living word of faith to minister to your wounded heart enabling you to trust and love again by equipping you with the truth that we set you free from that spirit of deceit that is an act of betrayal. It is bigger than just the person who betrayed you. If you do not get the healing that is needed the deceptive belief that will often call a spirit, will betray you again in another person. Because the spirit of deceit is the issue we need to protect ourselves from and this spirit takes on many forms which is the physical body of people. This is why the word of God tells us that we do not wrestle with flesh and blood but with principalities, powers of this age, rulers of darkness and spiritual host of wickedness (Ephesians 6:12-19). This is the different realms of deceit and wickedness at operation working in the hearts and minds of people who have not surrendered their hearts and minds to God. The only way to protect you is by putting on the whole armor of God that protects your thoughts, desires, emotions, decisions and actions. God’s living word of faith is full of grace and truth which is His presence in people who are committed to intimately knowing Him in their hearts and minds. Romans 12:2 tells us:
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
When we allow the living word of God to renew our minds and hearts, our minds and hearts enters covenant relationship with the mind and heart of God where we come to intimately know His heavenly thoughts and ways as the image and likeness that His created us in; equipping us to love like He loves and to respond like He responds. When people do not commit to knowing the mind and heart of God, they sometimes unknowingly are used by their deceptive thoughts and desires to transgress against people, dishonor themselves as they initially sinned against God. This is because when will are not pursuing the mind and heart of God; we are intimately in covenant relationship with the mind and heart of the enemy which is revealed in Jeremiah 17:9 that states:
The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?
Because we are born into sin and shaped in iniquity we have to be reborn in the grace and righteousness of God (Psalms 51:5). To reborn means to be renewed in the mind by having a heart transformation that has encountered the living presence of God’s grace and truth which purifies the heart with His Holy Spirit of faith. This is one of the reason why without faith it is impossible to please God because our minds and hearts are purposed to remain in a covenant relationship with God’s living word of faith, that comes by hearing His living word (Romans 10:17) that is His law that He renews the minds and hearts of mankind back into His Holy image and likeness. So when we truly commit to a lifestyle of seeking the mind and heart of God, His living presence in us helps us to overcome acts of betrayal where we are able to forgive and show mercy as He shows us mercy. As long as we all are being made new in Christ, we have the ability to betray someone in any area of our lives that we have not fully committed to God who is love and enables us to honor people as we honor Him and as we honor ourselves.
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