The Unhealthy Enmeshment Of Codependent Relationships


By: Lady Joy

Codependency empowers relational brokenness that bonds two or more people together in unhealthy relational behavior patterns that creates a dysfunctional way of relating, communicating and responding to each other’s perceived needs and desires that lead to a complicated and unfulfilled relationship. The feeling of unfullfillment is where the individual within the relationship, if not all people involved, begin to realize the need for their own autonomous development that empowers their individuality that is established in the pursuit of their whole person healing and  relational wellness. Unfulfillment is the unfavorable result of people entering relationships with each other before they understand how to establish their autonomous identity in Christ. They hinder the call of God on each other’s life because they desire relational fulfillment from each other, but only comes from an intimate knowing of their self  and how that translates in the fulfillment of their dreams, goals and desires.

The person with the least understanding of their individuality takes on the identity of the dominate personality which prevents them from feeling fulfilled because they did not understand how to start the process of discovering who they are. They do not possess the understanding of inner self as they have not harnessed the power of recognizing their inner voice that God desires to give them that will forever connect them with Him Who fulfills them. Thus couples, family, friends, peers, colleagues in codependent relationships have an expiration date as both or all cycle back around to the lifelong need to be fulfilled. This lifelong need to be fulfilled is the lifelong call from God, hoping we will respond to His desire for us to know who He destined us to be in His image according to His likeness that encompass our whole person identity.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV 

Therefore, there is a season as well as a continuum in each believer’s life where we all need the autonomous development of our whole person that is established in whole person healing to understand how God fulfills us all by sanctifying us to empower us to become a prophet of our life’s purpose, vision and mission. This is only made possible when we understand our autonomous identity in Christ as a living being who is created in the image and likeness of the triune God; who fulfills the whole person of our mind, spirit, soul and body.  However, we must be taught, trained and therefore discipled; so we can become equipped to walk in the strength of our blessed identity, whole person identity, Christ identity that the New You Wellness Institute calls the New You Self Love identity. Society raises us to focus on the mind without ever teaching us how to become one with God’s heart that is His Holy Spirit. This limits our perception, perspective and awareness of who we were created by God to be within this lifetime to fulfill the purpose, vision and mission that ultimately fulfills who we are, autonomously.

In Matthew 5:17, Jesus said he did not come to change the law but to fulfill it. This includes Him fulfilling the law of  our autonomous identity within our whole person; by establishing  the identity of God’s spiritual law that reconciles us back in covenant relationship with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  God’s identity within us, fulfills our whole person identity with the revelational understanding of His heavenly purpose, vision and mission. This revelational understanding as well as revolutionary transformation directs the inner and eternal compass of our dreams that establishes our goals as we are empowered by the blessing of God’s presence within us to fulfill the desires  of a blessed heart on earth as it is in heaven.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4 NKJV

Out of our enjoyment of discovering our autonomous identity within God, our desires are renewed, refocused and reenergize as we become healed. Therefore well in the whole person of our mind, spirit, soul and body. In a healthy family, before God gives us to the world He gives us to our parents to help us discover our autonomous identity within Him Who fulfills us in order to equip us to be in proper intimacy with a community of people.  However, due to dysfunctional familial dynamics of the family, God raises spiritual parents to heal what the biological parents to include care givers where never equipped to manage. These spiritual parents are those who have been graced to heal the autonomous identity of our mind, spirit, soul and heart.  Therefore, before God gives us to a community of people, He first calls us to be in intimate relationship with Himself because He desires to prepare us to experience the gift of healed and healthy relationships that are made possible through His presence within us; where He becomes the secure covering of our autonomous identity in mind, spirit, soul and body; affording us the opportunity to fulfill His initial desire revealed within Genesis 1:28 that reads like such:

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

The presence of God’s Holy Spirit within us, helps us to diligently protect our heart from the issue of codependency that is an enmeshment of unhealthy soul ties that are unhealthy emotional and psychological strongholds; preventing people from being fulfilled in their whole person because they became codependent due to the desire to first become improperly intimate with people before discovering and establishing proper intimacy with God and the God within their autonomous identity.  The blessed presence of the triune God within our whole person, empowers us to be fulfilled as individuals, autonomously. This is only made possible by intimately knowing the presence of God’s perfect love working in us to fulfill us with His power love and sound mind where we our entire person is made well.

I want to encourage you to embark on the wellness journey of discovering your autonomous identity in Christ. Understand who and what fulfills you to the very core of who you are in your mind, spirit, soul and body that is revealed in your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, will, desires, emotions and actions. Now is the time for you to courageously discover who God has created you to become, so you will embrace the joy of the Lord who is your strength to include fulfillment autonomously as well as within community.

Enroll in one of New You Wellness Bible Institute FREE courses or book your initial Holistic Life and Relational  Wellness Coaching session to start the process of understanding how to begin your process of becoming fulfilled.

© Copyright 2019


Published by

Lady Joy

Hi I am the Founder of New You Wellness Lifestyle Multimedia Publication. I am also the Pastoral Counselor of New You Wellness Online Institute where my team and I provide Holistic Life & Relational Wellness Coaching, biblical counseling and soon to be therapy sessions via telephone sessions and video conference sessions. We provide in person biblical counseling sessions, therapy sessions, wellness workshops, wellness events and wellness retreats at our New You Wellness Suites locations. I hope you have been blessed by the content within New You Wellness Lifestyle Multimedia Publication. Please consider becoming a New You Wellness Lifestyle Subscriber where we can improve our current multimedia content to strengthen your faith and wellness in your everyday lifestyle.

2 thoughts on “The Unhealthy Enmeshment Of Codependent Relationships”

  1. Great Article. Keep growing. I see oneness in many areas I’m building content around. Gods blesses over your journey and life.

    The same way God called Abraham from his kindred and he entered a place unfamiliar, but promised to bless him. I decree the blessings overtake you as the seed of Abraham. You are a joint heir of all the promises.🥰

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